Fitness Advice For The Rest Of Us; The Beautiful, Magnificent, And Deeply Intellectual Fhatty Fhattertons

Above all fresh music, is the only source of any meaningful energy at the gym.

But you have to use it correctly, it is not meant to play in the background.

Your music has to have just the right beats per minute, to tell you when to move or lift.

And when you run out of songs that have the right beat, you grab the ones with the bad BPM and adjust their tempo on a computer.

As you carry on and your body adapts, you will have to keep increasing your workout BPM as well.

As with all new things, the beginning is always trouble.

Because how are you supposed to lift for 4 minutes, or a duration of a song.

When you are sucking wind, just after 20 god damned seconds.

This is the exact same problem joggers face, and you have to use their tactic to break through that.

This is where a trainer with a stop watch, or better yet an interval timer app or a clip-on, comes in handy.

You start with lifting to the beat of the music for 20 seconds, and resting for a few minutes.

And after a few days, you reconfigure your interval timer, for 30 seconds of activity, and then 45 seconds, and a minute.

After a while, in addition to extending your activity period every week or so.

You start decreasing your rest period maybe just every month, down to couple of minutes, a minute, and 45 seconds.

And eventually, if you just keep on jiggling, you will eliminate the need for rest.

And just like the joggers, you will just plow through your routine without the need to stop.

While you are hoping to change the shape of your body, you have to workout daily.

Unless, start noticing, that something is not healing, for example your leg pain never seems to go away.

Then you get the weekends off, the two days, will help your body repair enough for your workouts to stop making things worse.

Feet hurt for the same reason your back gets worse after you hurt it, because they need to warm up before your exercise.

To warm up your feet, use thick socks, and by thick I mean socks so soft, fluffy and thick, you need new shoes as well, two sizes larger.

While it is impossible to be sure, it may be that the original reason why your back got hurt, is dehydration, your back pain would be similar to the ones you get in your legs.

Use a neoprene belt marketed for weight loss (and by that they mean dehydration which is bad), to keep your back warmed up, while it is hurt.

Don’t skip your workout, learn to do baby movements, that let you almost move all the way by the time your workout ends.

The muscles in your back will stop being crazy, and you will regain full function sooner.

Powerful workouts translate to sweating a lot, and sweat expels electrolytes, so you need to replenish them.

But when you start adding extra salts to your system, you will need to learn to measure your blood pressure.

Automatic blood pressure measurement machines are not too expensive, and please be sure to verity that the readings are correct, by testing your blood pressure with another machine.

Salts will increase your blood pressure, which is very bad, and thus let you know when you have gone too far.

As always, talk to your Doctor, grab them by the ears, and while slowly but deliberately shaking their head, front, and back, left and right.

Say unto them with your growling voice - “Unlike some, I am not a pill popper, and you_ are not wiser than Hippocrates when he said that prevention is preferred to treatment”.

And if it so happens that your doctor is scruffy, you should also add, “If you want to keep me as your patient, then get your self, a real body, like I am trying to do right now.”

And finally, festively let go of their ears, and ask about re-hydration and the blood pressure monitor.