Does A Tail Help?

Let me tell you something, you will never have as much energy, as on the firs day that you wore your tail to the gym.

By contrast every workout prior and after will feel sleepy, you just cant ever beat that first day.

So it is a great source of energy and eventually courage, and merriment.

I attached my tail to my weightlifting belt, so each time I bend down to pick something up, the tail shoots up.

And just toady I discovered, I startled a lovely couple behind me, they to their credit they ended up laughing it off as I spun out of the room.

A large tail will also help you keep your gum dust free, as you cannot help but to dust a little.

But of course the biggest benefit is getting back in touch with out origins, as little as 25 million years ago our ancestors still had fancy tails.

Just to give you an idea the Dinosaurs departed, some 65 millions years ago, at which point we were just a clever little shrew.

Let me tell you something I’ve learned, big time, our ancestors never had hip problems, as the tail just makes you wanna hip hop.

Very few exercises encourage sideway motion, and none provide instant benefits, unless you put on a tail.

At which point your hip work, is the only way, with which you can hope to spell out your name with your tail.

All that practice all that flexing, is the super express lane, to a fit an trim body with minimum unhealthy fat.

I am not exaggerating, close your eyes, and visualize moving your tail, see how much more flexing you are doing compared to not having a tail.

Our ancestors not only had dust free welling, but also legendary posture, hips and fitness.

This year I’ve put on my tail in Mid-septemeber, using Halloween as cover, though I am already stretching it.

Next year, I resolved to put it on September 1st, the further you move back from Halloween the more started people become.

But the benefits outweigh the risks, a well toned body will double your span, and that a fact Jack.

You can make more friends in your second life time, your first should be spent on becoming Fluff, Buff and Fit.

It makes for funny situations, some small, some big, I love reteling the story of the first time I put on my tail early in October.

I was walking to the gym, looking like Rambo, fit and muscular, and the local mailman noticed me crossing the street.

And was instantly reminded of all the fitness promises he has made to him self, that his job now made seem less important.

And that was the moment I took a slight turn towards the gym door, reveling my huge freaking tail sticking out behind me.

To this day I laugh, when I overhead the poor man quietly whimper, “What the *uck”.

Mostly people just smile, September is not as far removed from Halloween as it may seem.

But I think every once in a while, for a short second, some distant stranger, may privately wander, if perhaps that betailed Beefcake is a Superhero.

Which only makes me wear my tail harder, and somewhat ask a semi serious question, and not as stretched as it may seem.

Recently spoke to a stranger if he watched Ninja Turles, reminding that a bin of discarded equipment can make for a fine Casey Jones Armory.

And I was reminded how humorless we become, to act as adults, which is not how growing up works at all.

Again and pretending to be mature, is still child’s play.

Growing up is an epic and monumental venture, that perfectly sets us apart from the rest of the universe.

And I begun wandering, what if our Superhero Dreams from childhood, are not an important stepping stone in our Psychological Development.

The act of seriously wearing a costume, as cos-players do, helps us ask questions about what it means to be Strong and what is Rising.

What better way to discover that merely pretending to be mature due to aging, is not in fact becoming an adult, that adulthood is more than mere appearance.

This is a question of Authenticity, and by extension rejecting memorization, as a form of make-believe-education, and accepting responsibility for wisdom.

A child-like mind with a wrinkled face, is not an adult, it is just a child mind with a mask.

An adult is the result of continued efforts to grow up, an endless ever more challenging effort.

Adulthood is a matter of growing all the way up, until we each become a great being.

Let me close with what I think of as, Henry Thoreau's Warning:

“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practise resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms…”

If this is what you need, than October is a wonderful time of the year, to take your maskdown, and resume growing up, from where you left off.

So that you are complete, that no plateau your reached could ever collapse under stress.

So that there are not gaps in you, that you ever stop you from growing all the way up.

It is a rare creature that can just, ignore Halloween, as if it is nothing.

For most of us, it is an important time.

Time to reflect on not being shamed or pushed around, or pretending away, from who our older selves demand we become.

So that we may face out greatest challenges in life, in dignity, and without the threat of collapse from gaps driven into us.