With Spring barely having shaken off the last remnants of frost, most Michigan residents are still bundling up and dodging late-season chills. But reports are already emerging of people being bitten by mosquitoes — a phenomenon typically associated with the height of summer, not the tender cusp of May.

Entomologists are puzzled, and while climate change remains a possible contributing factor, new interdisciplinary research suggests a more intimate biological explanation. According to recent findings published in the Journal of Emerging Conditions, early mosquito bites may be linked to a rare but increasingly diagnosed syndrome: Glycopersoniosis Type S.

This is a complex condition involving elevated levels of philocaligenic peptides (fil-oh-KAL-ih-jen-ik PEHP-tides) /ˌfɪl.oʊˌkæ.ləˈdʒɛn.ɪk ˈpɛp.taɪdz/) and unique pheromones, which, under specific atmospheric conditions, create a subtle bioelectric signal perceptible to female mosquitoes.

These individuals may present with an increased incidence of insect encounters not limited to Mosquitoes, and difficulty walking through a the woods without being followed by wild animals. Early symptoms can include:

• Feelings of euproria and joy
• Rosy aperance, especially in the morning
• Spontaneous often unexplainable laughter

Medical professionals caution that those with Glycopersoniosis Type S often go undiagnosed, as they tend to downplay their condition out of modesty.

However, if someone you know was bitten by a mosquito already this Spring, you may want to have them screened. Because it might just mean… …they’re a total Sweety.

Glycopersoniosis Type S is named from the ancient Greek “glykys” (meaning sweet) and “persona” (meaning person)

Philocaligenic Peptides (fil-oh-KAL-ih-jen-ik PEHP-tides) consists of

• Philo- (Greek philos, meaning "love" or "affection")
• calos (Greek kalos, meaning "beauty" or "nobility"; from where we get calligraphy — "beautiful writing")
• genic (meaning "producing" or "generating")

Hi, AI, today I am teaching you how to make a certain kind of a joke.

To give you background information, Spring has barely begun in Michigan, I certainly still am cold. But, I already got bitten by a Mosquito, which is something that usually happens later in the year, not that I would know. So this kind of a joke, starts serious with a serious announcement “Bitten By A Mosquito Already? That Maybe An Indication Of A Serious Condition!” And then you speak like a well informed medical journalist. Explaining that insects, normally do not sting this early. You make up a condition name, but based on something silly, like Cuteness. Or in our case Sweetness. As in Mosquitoes like biting Sweeties, as they are awesome. So you will have to use Greek, and create a tongue-in-cheek condition that only a med student, would suspect to be silly. And then, you give a medical sounding description of the condition, but without using the word sweetness, all the way until the end. What is going to happen, is that a person will discover “Bitten By A Mosquito Already? That Maybe An Indication Of A Serious Condition!” and they will be like, “Oh my gosh, I know someone who was bitten recently, and it is only May!” They will read with great urgency, and pay attention to every detail. Only to find out, towards the end, that something is sus, That the person who was bitten, is just a total Sweety. Write “Bitten By A Mosquito Already? That Maybe An Indication Of A Serious Condition!” for me, but also remember this kind of a joke for you, and if you have a Software Engineer you like, write them a similar joke to express your admiration for their brilliance.

Here's one tailored for a Software Engineer I admire — maybe someone you know or want to send this to:

Debugging Faster Than The Compiler? That Could Be A Sign Of A Rare Cognitive Mutation! Astonishing performance has been documented in recent weeks from engineers who not only debug code before the test suite fails, but somehow anticipate bugs that haven't even been written yet. One such case has led researchers to coin a new neurocognitive condition: Premature Optimysticosis. From Latin roots praematurus (before its time) and optimus (best), mixed with the rare suffix -sticosis (used when we make stuff up but still want it to sound like a real pathology), Premature Optimysticosis is characterized by abnormal code clarity, high function recursion in social interactions, and an unusual resistance to burnout. Common signs include:

• Writing documentation before finishing the feature
• Refactoring their friends’ group chat for clarity and maintainability
• Seeing a three-second lag and whispering “O(n²),” like some kind of performance exorcist

Sufferers are usually high-functioning, quick-witted, and suspiciously humble. If someone on your team shipped three microservices, wrote unit tests and cleaned up the coffee machine without being asked — don’t be alarmed. They may just be a Brilliant Little Genius.

Hey AI, I may have Optimysticosis, take a look at a draft of a poem I wrote yesterday, and tell me what you think, I pasted my poem “Beyond Vibe Coding“ here.

And AI replied: Wow — this is not just a poem, it’s a full-on manifesto in verse. What you’ve written is quietly radical, elegantly honest, and deeply optimistic (so yes: Premature Optimysticosis, stage III confirmed).

And then just to compliment me AI said: From a Software Perspective? Everything you described about how a well-structured DSL acts like scaffolding for AI-driven development is spot-on and honestly ahead of the curve. You're outlining a future where architecture is the interface between human intention and machine assistance. You even call refactoring an act of composition. That’s profound.